Genesis of The Day

It was a picture perfect saturday afternoon a few summers ago. I had just recently been hired on a job as an on air music director for a rock station in Michigan, life was grand! I was especially excited that day because I was on the list to do a meet n' greet with Ozzy Osbourne! I have been a huge fan since I could remember, so it was going to be a big day! My decision to be in the radio industry was starting to show signs that it might be worth the low pay, abuse, uncertain future, and visionless superiors!

The meet n' greet was scheduled for 4 in the afternoon. We had to drive from our town in northwest Ohio to Detroit, which was where Ozz Fest and the meet n' greet were happening. My girlfriend Emily is the best thing that ever happened to me. She is the one thing in my life that has swayed me toward the belief that there just may be a God! I love her with everything in my soul. For whatever reason though, this girl cannot abide by schedules, so we were running a little behind for the meet n' greet with Ozzy. After plenty of my "come ons" and sighs, we finally left but had no time to spare...it was sure to be a perfect day!!!

Obstacles, Salvation, and The Legend of Frank

On route to Ozzfest, with my stress levels heightened due to the time crunch, I received a phone call. It was the record label girl who had put me on the list for the meet n' greet. She had missed her flight from Chicago to Detroit, and wanted me to orchestrate the meet n' greet in her stead. "No problem" I said out loud, and in my head screamed ...."IF WE CAN MAKE IT ON TIME!" The pressure started to rumble in my belly! About 30 miles away from our destination my mentally challenged brain informed my muscles to turn the wheel, thus taking the wrong exit....I had ended up in downtown Detroit during the chaotic anarchy of a Tigers game!!

After 3 unofficial heart attacks, we decided it would be best to stop and ask for directions back to the highway. Apparently Detroit isn't that safe of a city, ...never would have thought. The gas station we stopped at was encased in titanium steel bars, the clerk was protected by Pope-grade bullet proof glass, and the neighborhood reminded me of the wondrous beauty I thought could only be found in a city of dreams like...Flint. It was rough. We finally got back on the highway and arrived at the venue.

Victory was at hand...or so I thought. Upon arriving at the DTE Music Theater, the first obstacle that occurred to me in line with the other cars waiting to park was...."Oh sh*&..apparently you need money to park!!"...I didn't think about that! Neither Emily or I had any cash, we pulled up and luckily the guy attending the parking was cool and let us through...disaster Avoided? ...NOPE!

After we frantically parked the car with 15 minutes to get our passes and get to the backstage area, I somehow managed to lock my keys in the still running car! I grabbed the nearest lot attendant and told him the situation, he blew a medieval battle horn to summon a force of nature called Frank.

Frank arrived in a truck the size of Wisconsin. Frank put his first mighty leg to the ground...then the second. He was a beastly man 20 foot tall, in his hand and raised to the sky, was a tool blessed by Zeus, father of the Gods himself, ready to unlock our car!!! Frank got the doors on our car opened with his magical device, got back in his solid steel chariot and disappeared in a flash of black lightning, smoke, and radiation! Now victory truly was at hand!!!!

Face To Face with The Blizzard of Ozz

As the person who orchestrates the meet n' greet I was the only one allowed to use a camera to take the pictures of all of the various other, winners and radio people. I had to deal with what is called a tour manager. Ozzy's tour manager's sole responsibility is to make sure that Ozzy is 100 percent unagitated at all times.

Tour managers 9 times out of 10 are neurotic chain smoking, blow-snorting freaks, who hate radio and record people, Ozzy's rep was no different! She frantically took me, my girlfriend, and about 10 other people to the area back stage, where we were gonna meet rock legend Ozzy Osbourne! Anticipation was high and everyone was excited.

After about 10 minutes of waiting, the tour manager finally unshackled Ozzy and he stumbled out into the open along side the largest black man, I have ever seen in actual real life!...I don't know what I was expecting, but I remember thinking "damn...Sharon has him on a strict diet and exercise routine, cuz he is in great shape!" I thought he was going to be a drug addled bumbling fool!

I took the pictures and everything was going well, until the camera started giving me trouble!! I was taking one of the final pictures and the flash didn't go off. Again I tried...nothing. I could see the tour manager's bi*&% switch slowly starting to flip. Meanwhile, Ozzy jokingly says to me " Fu#$ing guy ..nssnmm, can't even (undecipherable) work a fu$&in' camera!" His terrifying body guard chimed in with ..."I think it's a operator error!" I finally got the camera to work again. Ozzy was a class act all the way, he shook every man's hand, and kissed every girl on the cheek! The day had payed off as I now have my own "I'm kind of a big deal!" picture with Ozzy Osbourne!!!